My weight gain journey in 2010

Here are the long awaited pictures of my weight gain this year. There is a lot that I could say, but a picture is worth a thousand words....so I'll try to let them do all of the talking. :o)

The journey:

My 29th Birthday (March 3rd)

weight: 110 lbs

With Grandma Myers' at Brenda's graduation May 28th

weight: 119 lbs

family pictures in July
weight: 118 lbs

Christmas 2009

weight: around 112 lbs

Christmas 2010

weight: 125 lbs

Now the last two pictures are astonishing to me. You can really see the difference that 15 lbs makes on someone as small as me. Here's the story: I knew at the beginning of the year that I was really sick and that I really needed to gain weight, but I didn't see (physically see) just how sick I was at the time (because it took all of my energy to cope with the everyday things that I needed to do just to function). We took this first picture on Feb. 28th. It was the first Sunday that I wore full-time oxygen to church. I had bought the red shirt a few weeks before and decided to wear it to church that day to help me to "feel good about myself" in front of others. (I was VERY depressed at the time and I thought the shirt looked really good on me. I needed some confidence in myself to be able to deal with all of the questions/stares/looks that I knew were coming). I only decided to take this picture because I thought I looked good in my "sexy red shirt" and I thought at the time that my full-time oxygen was going to be temporary (well, at least I was hoping it was...) and I wanted to document what I was going through. I had not thought much of this picture again until recently.

As I was trying to decide what to wear to church a few weeks ago and I spotted my red shirt. I decided to put it on and when I stopped and looked in the mirror to make sure that nothing looked out-of-place before leaving the house I realized that I "really did look good!!!" After church I insisted that Curtis take another picture of me in my red shirt and then I compared the two. "WOW!!!" The difference is HUGE! I can't look at these two pictures and not cry because they show so much of what I was and what I have been going through this year. I know that I am a beautiful daughter of God, but I didn't feel that way 10 months ago. Curtis, who has been by my side for over 5 yrs now, was also astonished by the difference in the pictures. He knew that I was really sick, but because it was a slow gradual decline down and a slow gradual climb back up (because he sees me everyday) he didn't realize just how much of a difference 15 lbs made for me until he looked at the pictures. (even at my lowest Curtis has always told me that I'm beautiful and that he's so blessed to be married to me....ahhh, I love him!!! I'm so blessed to be married to him!!!) Ok, I'll stop talking....here is the pictures you've all been waiting for:

Feb. 28, 2010

weight: 110 lbs

December 12, 2010

weight: 125 lbs

Isn't it amazing what 15 lbs does for a person!!! I almost feel like there are two completely different people in those pictures!!! At my December CF clinic appointment they were all very excited to see how much weight I've gained. Even though my lung function has not increased this year, my doctor's told me that I'm the healthiest I've been all year! I would like to gain another 5 lbs, but I'm not in the "critical" stage anymore of needing to gain weight. Most of the year I have been tube feeding 7 nights a week and eating regularly during the day. Now we are cutting back to 4 nights a week w/regular daily eating to see if I still maintain my weight. I'm eating sooo much better than I was a year ago, but I still have days where I just don't feel good and don't want to eat. We'll see what happens...but I'm positive that it will all be good. Even though the decision to get a feeding tube was such a hard thing for me to make, and it's been an up and down roller coaster at times, I'm SOOOO GLAD that we decided to go-ahead with it. I feel so much better physically and mentally. Now I really FEEL like the beautiful princess that I have always been!